Heartbreaks are usually very painful especially when it’s someone you truly love. It is more painful when the effect of the heartbreak is melted on the person who had loved. Most times the effect can cause distrust, self-withdrawal, intimidation, and fear.
What is heartbreak?
Heartbreak from love is a strong feeling of sadness, pain, and unhappiness as a result of losing an affair with someone most trusted and cherished. The pain can be so strong as to cause an overwhelming effect to socialize again with the same kind of issue.
There are several forms of heartbreak, but in this context, we are more concerned about a heartbreak resulting from a love affair. A love affair with someone more prized and held in high esteem.
Now, look at this story. Richard could not believe himself the very day Alicia broke the engagement between them. At first, he thought he was in a trance, he had to slap himself twice to gain consciousness that brought him back to reality. But what more is left for him to offer to Alicia, having offered her his whole world including his breath. She gave him no reason to break up, but simply decides to keep it to herself. All she could say was, “I don’t have any more feelings for you, Richard, let’s call it quits”. It’s easier for Alicia to say, but difficult for Richard to accept.
Richard had loved Alicia like he loved his own life. You can call it blind love but for Richard, he could see no reason why he wouldn’t love her. He had promised her the best of things and everything he could to make Alicia all his. But “You can only force the horse to the stream but you can’t force it to drink water”. For Richard, he can woo Alicia into having a relationship with him, but he can’t force her to stay forever. But does that make Richard not love again? Of cause not, he can love again but he has to take some steps.
Be guided by the old experience
An experience they say is the best teacher. Having gone through the trauma of the former experience, you wouldn’t want to witness such an occurrence again. For this reason, you would very much want to be extra cautious this time learning from the former incident. From the short story told above, Richard can still love again, but he has to be guided by his experience with Alicia. In his case the question might be; “can he still love someone again just the way he loved Alicia”? Yes, he can, he just needs to understand the reason behind Alicia’s action and learn from it.
Don’t get withdrawn from your inner-self
For some people getting over heartbreak might be so devastating, such that can take them too long to start moving again. While to some other persons like Alicia, it can be so easy to overcome. Don’t go on thinking over the whole scenario and get withdrawn in yourself on every passing day. If you do, the pictures of every incident will keep flashing past your memories every second. You can do this if you practice more on not keeping to yourself.
Start over with carefulness
Now taking the story above, Richard was heartbroken, but let’s just agree that he wasn’t so careful in his relationship with Alicia. Let’s also believe that he was such carefree as to trust that his love for Alicia was very intact. But should that make him stop loving again? This time he has to be very careful on whom to love, whom to give out his heart to, and while loving the person he has to make sure that the love is very much reciprocated. Although nobody can ever boast of being too careful in life, it’s better to be careful and avoid some mishaps than losing it all.
Talk to people about your experience
Share your heartbreak experience with people. Do this especially if you are on the right side of the hit. When you talk to people about the issues that disturb your mind, it is one way to ease the pain in your heart. If you talk to the right people, the right people will counsel you and tell you how to start again and start rightly. The right people you tell are also drawing you out from your pit of sadness and giving you hope to love again.
Don’t nurse the fear of loving again
The fear of loving again usually occurs to most people who are deeply affected by the shock of heartbreak. At first, they might feel like crying it out. Sometimes, they spend sleepless nights, followed by dull moments of the day, inactive participation in a normal daily routine. They keep reflecting on the heartbreak and giving room to fear of going through the experience again. Passing all this stage is normal but the issue lies in how long the person dwells in fear.
Start loving again
Shake off the fear and move on. Grieve over the heartbreak but don’t let it weigh you down. Let the experience be a stepping stone to your finding true love. Let the experience give you courage rather than fear. Let it also give you memories for the future. Organize yourself and make out quiet time. During your quiet time decide on how to start again, because you need to start loving again.