Conflicts are disagreements resulting from a misunderstanding of one person towards the other or one group of people towards the other group. In a relationship, it is the inability to settle differences resulting from an issue within couples. Either personal or collective interest may appear little or big depending on nature.
Now, how do you regard it when you see people celebrate their silver jubilee or golden jubilee, does it occur to you as something not real but fake. Maybe, you simply understand it as a mere celebration to get people to notice them?
Maybe you might be thinking that couples don’t live together without quarreling and fighting. So, you thought it can’t be possible to live that long together for such several years.
Yes! It’s very possible to live long together, longer than the golden anniversary. Celebrating those anniversaries is a way of asking people to share in their happiness. The joyfulness of a successful 25 years, 50 years, and even more years of happy fulfilling marital life.
Come to think of it, a man and a woman from different homes and backgrounds coming together as couples in a relationship won’t be as easy at all. It can’t be as simple as two siblings living together with, or without their parents. If you ask me I will rather say, that the former is very difficult to manage because they were once strangers who never know each other.
But have only come together to love and cherish with a common vow to live together, and form a separate family entirely different from their separate immediate families. So, for this motive to actualize they need to tolerate, appreciate, forgive, understand, and overlook so many things to make their union a success.
Now, in the process of trying to understand, tolerate and forgive they are bound to be disputes, disagreements, and in some cases resulting in fights. Which might lead to ending the relationship. Arguments are bound to happen; couples should expect such things. Even among siblings who are families and had lived together for long do pick quarrels and fight, how much more then can we say of couples who were once strangers to each other not do so. Again, remember we are humans we are not supreme Almighty.
Even Angels do fight, remember the story of Angel Michael and Lucifer while in heaven. So, disagreements are bound to erupt but we are more concerned about how well they handle those misunderstandings and put them off in order not to escalate further.
Remember we are not talking about how to prevent disputes because it is normal if it occurs. But we are discussing how best to handle them when they eventually happen.
The 7 simple tips below can be very much helpful.
1. Settle your differences before bedtime
If you carry issues resulting in quarrels over the next day, it might result in malice. Try settling your differences almost immediately. Sometimes, couples’ best time of getting issues dissolved is usually during bedtime when both are about to sleep. This is because some people find it difficult to get enough sleep if at all the sleep comes.
They might just end up rolling from one end of the bed to another with a wide eye open thinking over the hit-up between them and having unrest and troubled sleep. But when both partners can figure out the problems together and conclude in peace before or at most during bedtime, both of them will definitely have a good and peaceful night’s rest.
2. Always show forgiveness and open heart
“To err is human, to forgive is divine”. A relationship that is lacking tolerance might also lack forgiveness. And when forgiveness is totally absent it will be very difficult to find peace and love in such a relationship. For this reason, couples need to practice the act of compassion and understanding.
For them to practice this virtue they need to build it right from the early stage of their union together as couples, so that they can get used to the act of clemency. But once it crosses the early stage, they might find it difficult to forgive themselves.
3. Don’t invite a third party
The relationship you share is only between you and your partner. If you always invite the third party to come between your quarrels and fights you might end up doing it all the time. In most cases, the third party might take advantage of the situation and team up with either of you and act against the other person. People usually lose their relationship because of a third party.
Most times those people pretend to be peacemakers but in the end, break up the relationship. Again, a third party might go out telling other people your issues and bring disgrace to your relationship. So, it’s best to handle conflicts within yourselves no matter how difficult it might be. One among the two partners should endeavor to be the peacemaker over the other.
4. Kill the pride and ego
Sometimes in a relationship when arguments hit up, considering who might be at fault they tend to be some kind of pride in the other person. A simple “I am sorry”, might be so difficult to voice out. Pride and ego are usually associated with arrogance. And not until damages are made none will one realize the importance of being humble and realistic over the other person. The best is if the person at fault could just realize his or her mistake and say these four words “I am sorry honey”. Issues will be healed already.
5. Bring yourself to understand
If both partners can easily bring themselves to understand each other. Know how each person feels, understand what the other like and dislike. If they can do these, they can easily settle misunderstandings between themselves. For instance, if you can realize that your partner doesn’t like it when your friends visit you too many at a time. Then you can easily avoid it, and maybe try inviting your friends one after the other. It’s better you acknowledge your do’s and don’t rather try to feel more superior over the other.
6. Don’t give room to malice
Most of the time it happens that when couples have disagreements or quarrels, and they were not able to resolve the issue before the next day. They keep grudging over it not talking to each other and not even able to wish each other “Good morning” or “Goodbye”. If you keep prolonging your issues waiting to see who’s going to first make apology things might go wrong. When this happens any one of you might seek peace outside by keeping late nights, drinking out late, and even end up spending the night outside the home. So, try resolving issues as they come to avoid getting worse.
7. Don’t be selfish
When you always want things to be your way, and you are always in control of everything. Things that concern both of you including those things the other partner is expected to be in charge of. As such you don’t consider the other person’s feelings or wishes. If you happen to be doing all these, it will be very difficult to settle disagreements between you two, because you will always want things to be in favor of you. This is not good at all, because it will one day lead to an argument that will result in physical abuse or domestic violence, and definitely loss of peace in your relationship.