How To Build Self-Confidence When You are Lacking Courage


Self-confidence is the attitude you display while showing the maximum trust and assurance you have in yourself. It is an inner motivation that results from your ability to do things relative to your knowledge.  This is another aspect of self-development that gives a positive impression on an individual personality.  Someone may ask what can help an individual to acquire self-confidence, again is there any special training to developing the skill?

There is nothing so difficult in someone gaining self-assurance. The truth is, everything in life depends on choice, especially as an adult.  If you make a choice and want your choice to come into reality then you include determination. If we need to find a single word that can describe self-confidence, then that word is simply, “Boldness.”

How do we describe someone who lacks courage?

A lot of people may not have the assurance to do certain things notwithstanding that they may have the full knowledge about it. All because the inner motivation is not visible. Let us take the instance, of a school where a very intelligent student is asked to give a short educating speech to an audience. The student and everyone who knows him understands well his brilliancy and capacity to perform. Now, without self-confidence, the student will not be able to perform properly to his audience.

Lacking courage is the reverse of self-confidence, it is simply being timid despite having the necessary knowledge. Again, it is like understanding your rights and privileges, and what is needful of you but the problem lies in not being able to exercise your right. Encouraging the action of fear and anxiety and taking solace in them.

Let us take it again the other way round in the same school. A teacher puts forward a question in a class, and there is a very brilliant student that knows the answer. This student is unable to indicate and answer the question. Although he wants to give a response, each time he feels like responding, fear, shy and nervousness grip him and withhold him from doing so. The student can only answer the question if the teacher points at him to answer it. This is because he has no confidence (boldness) to do it on his own.   He is a victim of low self-confidence.

How to build self-confidence

Below are ways you can build self-assurance

Bridge the conversation gap

In most cases, people who lack self-confidence are people who don’t interact much with their fellows. They mostly keep to themselves, even when with their immediate family members, they are seen in isolation. This is not right for anyone who lacks courage but wants to build confidence. A conversation is either a short or lengthy interaction that goes on between two or more people. It is usually informal; you can cultivate the habit of interacting with people if you are the reserved type who hardly talks.

To achieve this purpose first, always try to get yourself amid people who are discussing issues. Try to chip in one statement or two, even if you do not bring up the topic of the discussion you can always try to be a contributor. Ask questions and always try to answer people’s questions. There is also a second method and this is more practical, you can always get yourself involved in a friendly argument or debate.

You can be a conversation starter: Whenever you happen to find yourself in a mist of people either a group of friends or just a friend. Just make sure a discussion is going on between you and either of them. Regular conversations with people help to boost self-confidence. The more you interact with people especially outside your family circle, the more courage you gain.

Face your challenges

At the moment your obstacles are your fears, nervousness, and timidity. You need to overcome those three in other to gain self-assurance. It can only start with you, by making up your mind. Fear is a feeling of insecurity resulting from the knowledge that you are about to confront a circumstance not favorable to you. What more do you have to do other than to fight back the unfavorable situation rather than allow it to engulf you? The fears in you result in your nervousness making you unable to beat your challenges.

The one secret about fighting back you fear that the moment you make a decision and challenge back your fears, you have taken a step to victory. Your first attempt will lead to a second and third and inevitably you see yourself overcoming everything. So, in all, the power lies within you, all you need is the self-conviction that you can do it.

You need the, I can-do it Spirit

The I can-do it Spirit is an invisible force that contains a motivational factor. It is irresistible, a spirit of an attitude that portrays self-confidence. People who are born with this attitude start displaying it right from childhood then getting to an adult they start acknowledging the importance of chasing their goals in life. Such people always make effort to achieve the best. The I can-do it spirit is usually a natural trait, but for an individual who is fighting to overcome the spirit of low confidence, he needs to build it.

It starts with your inner mind, your thoughts, view, and opinion. Initially, you always give in to your immediate thought of not taking action, but what if you dialogue within yourself? What if you try and oppose the immediate thought and do the reverse of what you think is right? It is like daring yourself to do what you think is not attainable.  

Become more resilient towards your attitudes

A strong-willed attitude can enhance self-confidence. when you say, I don’t want this,” and stand strong in your faith and belief of what you rather want.  Although people around might observe it as an act of stubbornness. But it is you who understands what you want and knows why you won’t give in to their request. When you become resilient you can fight fears and every other challenge, it is a way of giving in to self-confidence.

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