What do you think about courtship before marital vows? Many people think differently, view differently, and act differently towards this issue. Some people thought to abolish the issue due to the adverse effect. They only consider the negative aspect without due thought of the positive.
Some people view the issue as a mere waste of time stating, “Why don’t you marry right away if you love him or her.” This statement sounds so easy but it does not have to be so.
If you act differently without considering courtship and yet again, go into marriage. Don’t you think you are being a bit faster and trying to lose some gains? Think of it this way let us assume you court for 6 months and acquire some knowledge about your partner-to-be. If you then get into marriage, you would rather be on the gaining side.
If during the process, you feel you do not belong to each other you are still on the gaining side. At least you try to avoid a divorce that may happen after marriage.
Courtship is a time when two persons precisely a man and a woman having initial similar likeness come together to become a couple. While on the other hand, “courtship before marriage” is a regular meeting of couples having common likeness with the intention for marriage.
Now, there is a difference between these two definitions. Although, they both have the word, “couples” in common with the involvement of courtship, it may or may not lead to marriage. If couples can divorce after marital vows, there can as well be a divorce within the time of courtship.
Therefore, courtship in its simplest definition is a certain period when a man and a woman come together to know each other better before proclaiming a marriage.
In its wisest counsel, it is very important to go through the process of courtship before taking marital vows.
They need to understand each other better
This is the basic aspect of every relationship; understanding brings love, peace, and happiness. Understanding is having complete knowledge of something. You can judge or predict what one is capable of doing and your prediction becomes true. It goes with tolerance and forgiveness. You can only get to live peacefully with your partner when you know his or her disposition.
Courtship is a time when the woman or man develops an insight into each other’s habits, flaws, and blemishes. Then it is the choice of any of them to decide to either move on with the relationship or take a turn around. Supposing you understand that your partner is an aggressive fellow, it is within the time of courtship that you decide if you can deal with the flaw, find a solution, or discontinue. It is still early.
It is an opportunity to seek God’s decision
Both the man and woman need to ask their creator if they are compatible with each other before the marriage. Many a time people get overwhelmed with this aspect of asking for God’s will and intervention. They go with the belief that since they love each other they can go into marriage. They forget to see some issue beyond human comprehension and they act as if they already know what the future holds.
It is not enough for you to love your partner. It can only be complete if both of you seek God’s consent because the journey of marriage is a lifelong process. It is like a person who embarks on a long-distance journey because he loves traveling. He only needs to ask God to protect and guide him all through. Otherwise, he never knows what he may encounter on his way.
It is a time to learn the fundamental aspect of their will-be-union
There is no way you can just stop learning new things on daily basis and as you meet new people, you learn new things. It is an opportunity for both because they not only learn the habits of each other. They also teach themselves what the other person does not know.
If at the time of courtship, the two people are not able to do certain things together. Then, it only means they cannot get to do it in the future. For instance, if they are not able to adhere to each other’s advice, views, and opinions, then it will still occur in the marriage
To get initial intimacy before marriage
Unlike people who just go into marital vows without courtship, initial intimacy is lacking. When we talk of initial intimacy during courtship, we begin to think of confidence and closeness. It is also a way of building genuineness. Both of you are building the foundation of oneness. You start seeing yourselves as not able to do certain things without the other.
Does the person have a religious background?
What you cannot change during courtship you might not be able to change it when you finally get into marriage. You need to teach your partner into doing some good things that will benefit your marriage. Those things that are moral and right you find lacking in him or her. Religion is important, so both of you need to belong somewhere in the religious denomination. It is then your choice to choose during courtship if you want to be the only one attending a religious gathering. While your partner chose not to belong anywhere.
To get to know his family initially
Some marriages are devastating. Such as when two people meet themselves in places like the big cities. Where the woman or the man may never get to know any of their family members before marriage. When this happens, they only get a limited knowledge about the person, but it is risky here. It is during this courtship that you need to ask around about other information’s regarding the person’s family background. Do not limit yourself to the information the person provides.
To get to know about his friends
Some friends can destroy other people’s marriages. This is why you need to know the kind of friends your partner associates with. If you do not like the kind of people he keeps as friends, you may not be able to get him or her to offset them. All you need to do is to give some advice but if the person never values your advice, you have a choice to discontinue.
Get to know what the person does for a living
Supposing you get into marriage right away without any sort of courtship. Along the line, you find out that the person you are sharing your life with is doing suspicious business as a means of living. How would you feel? Yes, you can still quit the marriage but it will be better to know it before you venture into the marriage. You could at least avoid the emotional stress and heartbreak.
You can quit the relationship
In life, we have different kinds of people, and that is how their characters and behaviors are. If you get to meet someone you share the same temperament with you may not be able to cope with the person. If worse, still you have a horrible temper and meet someone same as you. There is no way both of you can stay together in marriage. If during courtship, you happen to find some odd behavior you feel you cannot handle from the person. It is best to quit at this early stage.
You have every opportunity to develop the relationship before marriage
If you get to meet someone, you truly love and understand during the time of courtship. There are 100% guarantees to build a strong relationship. All you need to do is find out if your person loves you too, then go ahead and establish your marriage. Read books about how to build relationships, attend marriage seminars and learn more on how to move ahead. That is the very reason for courtship